Mom of the Month: Kim Tolman

Kim is one of those ladies that you are just drawn to because of her carefree and fun personality.  She always has a smile on her face and I wasn't surprised to see that the rest of her family does as well.  I was so excited to have the chance to take their pictures and get to know her better and now I'm excited to introduce you all to her.  So here you go......meet Kim: 

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Tell me a little about your family:

My family is AWESOME! We are huge North Carolina tar heel fans (Mark went to UNC law school) and we love hanging out and watching every sporting event known to man (except baseball, cause, LAME. And what's up with Nascar?) I sing and dance and love to be in musicals at CPT and Hale. I got my masters from the U last year in Gerontology (that's old people) and my thesis focus was aging and the arts. Jamison (10) is a comp soccer player for La Roca and Drewbie (7) is deciding which team he wants to play for in the NBA after playing for Roy Williams at UNC. Parker (2 months) is our little caboose and he just spends his days pooping and being adorable.

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What do you like to do together?

Two words: Amazing Race! We love cuddling on the bed and watching Amazing Race together every week and trash talking about how much better we would be if we were to go on the show! We LOVE going to Disneyland and playing games and just having FUN.

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What are your challenges as a mother and how do you overcome them day to day?

With my older boys it's being so busy with no time to just sit down and connect, and with the baby I sometimes feel like I'm under house arrest, it's so hard to go anywhere! I think it helps to just take a deep breath and try to be in the moment, to remind myself of how lucky I am that I get these little monkeys in my world. Also : mass quantities of diet Coke. No mother's fridge should ever be without it.

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How do you still make time for yourself and be such an awesome mom?

I'm really lucky that I have kiddos and a hubby who understand how much I love being in shows and going to school. We have a deal that I do one (or two if I can swing it!) shows a year and it makes me value the time I have with my kiddos and actually helps me structure my time better. I'm a better, more productive mom if I'm accomplishing things outside the home as well. I finished grad school last May and I'm starting on the American Sign Language interpreter certification program in January. I can't. Sit. Still.

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What have your hardest and most important lessons been as a mother?

Confession: When I have babies, post partum hits me like a ton of bricks and never goes away. It's easy to get overwhelmed with expectations and wanting to be everything to everyone all the time. I think the most important lessons I've learned (and have to keep learning every day) are to cut myself a little slack and realize that things don't have to be perfect all the time. As long as DCFS isn't knocking on my door, I figure we're good! Besides, I think uber crafty pinterest moms are on crack anyway. I'd like to punch them in the face on behalf of the rest of us.

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Your family is such a fun family, is that just by nature or do you feel like its important so you go out of your way to make it happen?

Thank you for saying that!!! We're a little on the crazy side. Drewbie once said something along the lines of "Some families are really serious but we just mess around..." It's true! I'm as likely as anyone to get the giggles in sacrament meeting and we all enjoy hiding behind corners and scaring the snot out of each other. It's just who we are. We'd probably be more productive and have fewer panic "homework isn't done!" moments if we messed around less, but I kinda like the way we are.

Your two older boys are a few years older then your third boy, did you learn anything from your older two that you are doing differently with your third?

I had my first two really close together, then had lots of years of fertility issues and miscarriages waiting for Thing 3. I think I'm a lot more chill this time around (I'm old!), but also, all of those years waiting and wanting a munchkin have given me such an appreciation for getting to experience having a baby one more time. He's really colicky and cries a ton - if that had been the case with one of my other babies I don't think I'd have had nearly the patience or perspective that I have now. That said, the colic can go away ANY time. Now would be good!

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What's your proudest mom moment?

Whenever a teacher tells me how kind my kids are to other kids at school, my heart bursts. Good grades are awesome, but when you get to see your kid or hear about your kid going out of their way to be kind to someone else because they want them to be happy, that's the coolest moment as a parent.

Hardest mom moment? Jamison likes BYU now instead of Utah. True story. I don't think I'll ever get over it.

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Do you have any advice to share?

My advice would be: CHILL OUT AND BE HAPPY! We're all doing our best. Take a breath and live in the moment vs worrying about what people think or what other people are doing.

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Kim, I love  your simple and carefree perspective on motherhood.  Thank you for sharing with us. 

Les